About a month ago I had lunch with a friend and witnessed an unbelievable transformation occur before my very eyes. For the most part, it was a delightful lunch filled with great conversation, laughter, an exploration of life and self, and some tasty food. But then it happened.
She received a text message on her cell phone.
Her attention was immediately drawn away from our connection and conversation and was now being split. Ultimately, the cell phone won out as she proceeded to respond to the immediacy of the text.
Considering the possibility that perhaps this was an emergency, I allowed some space for her to respond. In the meantime, however, I thought I would get myself some water. And, being the kind person that I am, I asked if she would like a glass as well.
No response. In that instantaneous moment, it was as if I was vaporized from the planet and disappeared.
I actually found this amusing and decided to have a bit of fun with her distracted state. I next asked, “I’m going to strip naked and grab some mustard. Would you like me to pour it on you?” Still no response.
Now, before you judge this person, I ask you to examine your own life and behavior and see if you have ever found yourself torn away from those you are currently with to respond to your cell phone or hand-held device.
The irony of this situation is that one of the things my friend is working on is to be more present. I proceeded to take out my own hand-held device – a pen and a piece of paper – and wrote a message for her.
“You cannot be present to the moment until you are in the moment.”
The more I thought about this, the more I realized how our current technology and multi-tasking tendencies rip us away from the beauty and peace of the moment. They rip us from the gifts and connections to our loved ones. They steal our opportunity to be present to the miracles of life.
With that in mind, I invite you to put down your cell phone and be more present with those you are with. Rather than being with your machines, be with the people around you, nature, your thought or the moment. Be fully present to all that is around you.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
– Henry David Thoreau
I am continually amazed at how distracted we are in life. It seems that with each passing year we are given more technological tools to stay connected. Yet, the irony of that is the more “connected” we are, the less connected we seem to be.
Leave a comment below sharing a story you experienced where a friend or loved one vaporized you from the planet as they became absorbed in their cell phone or hand-held device and became disconnected from you and life.
Photo Credit: Kristin Murphy/Desert News/AP
Rich Largman
Empire of Hope 
One of my most dear friends visited recently on business. She has always been incredibly present, connected and aware. This time, however, she visited with her Blackberry in tow and the experience was completely different. From the moment she woke up, to the moment she went to bed, her Blackberry was within arms reach, if not in hand.
Each morning we would get a cup of coffee and then I would drop her off at her client. On the second morning, as soon as we got in the car she was engrossed with her Blackberry. When we arrived at the coffee shop I just pulled over and waited. It was literally 5 minutes before she looked up and expressed, “Oh we are here?”
I recently had dinner with some friends I had not seen in a while. The purpose of the dinner was of course for everyone to visit and reconnect. I was amused by the disjointed nature of the visit. Throughout the evening we were disturbed by various beeps and buzzes by texts. At one point the hostess was on her cell phone to her Dad, another guest was on her cell phone to her family and the other gentleman and I struggled to carry on a conversation with these other conversatoins swirling around us. I cautiously eyed his cell phone, which was on the table in front of him, wondering if it might buzz soon leaving me to have yet another conversation with myself. Lord knows I have too many of those already! 🙂
Rich,
Thank you again for a timely message. My husband is facing surgery this week and I will be waiting for him to get out of surgery and into recovery, out of recovery and into a room. It is funny how so many of our online acquaintances want to be kept up to date on his progress. I’m sure I’ll have my netbook and cell phone with me and be able to communicate with any one of them who will listen. But, the more I think about it, is that what is most important for me while I wait. Sometimes there is peace and beauty in solitude, we just need to be open to receiving it. A friend has devoted her whole day to be there for me. I think I will take her up on that offer and turn off the technology for a few hours. Sharing a few moments or few hours with a friend in person is so much more rewarding.
Believe me, if you had told me that you were going to strip naked in front of me, I would have taken notice 🙂
Thanks for sharing. I plan to have my kids read this and am going to work it into my CCD class this week.
I have always been amazed that a cell call or a text message trumps a face to face conversation. I imagine that this developed becasue, historically, in most homes, a traditional telephone call has almost always been responded to immediately.
The timing of your essay is perfect. Just one minute before reading it I took away my son’s phone becasue he had about 8 friends in the basement, all were playing cards, except for him…he was sitting several feet away with his back to the group…texting!! I called him upstairs, gave him a quick speech about “beng in the moment” (thanks, Rich) and being a good friend/communicator/host.
I’m sure after his friends leave I’ll get one of his favorite speeches… “Dad, why do you care?’, “Dad, why aren’t you cool like other kids parents?”, “Dad this isn’t the 1970s.” or “Dad, you are so annoying.”
I continue to be amazed at how people don’t recognize how rude they are by engaging in this behavior. I had a similar situation with my fairly new boss. During a meeting where we were actively engaged in dialog, he chose to read and respond to his Blackberry. I chose to stop my conversation. When he shared that I could continue, I told him “nicely” that I did not believe he could give me his full attention and that I thought he was being rude. Although he argued that he could just be a good multi-taker, he hasn’t done it since to me!
New British PM bans mobile phones at cabinet meetings
AFP – Thu May 13, 5:59 pm ET
LONDON (AFP) – Britain’s new Prime Minister David Cameron on Thursday banned the use of mobile phones at cabinet meetings in a bid to ensure his top team stay focused on the challenges facing them, his spokeswoman said.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/britainpoliticstechnologyoffbeat