What Game Are You Playing?

This past fall I had a fascinating conversation with a friend while at the Farmer’s Market.  Among the many interesting topics we talked about, our conversation touched on the growing inequality in the United States and the SHOCKING distribution of wealth among its citizens.  This disparity was recently publicized by a video that went viral on YouTube. (You can view the video at the end of this post)

 

(Before you get your partisan knickers in a knot, to be clear, the point I want to make has nothing to do with privilege, politics, the right to make a living . . . let alone a fortune, or the opportunity this country affords anyone who wishes to set out on that path of wealth.   So keep reading if you want to mine the real gold here.)

 

After pointing out the inequality, my friend and I started talking about what might drive such an imbalance.  I suggested that one reason might be the generally understood “game” in this country called, “The person with the most money, wins.”  We all seem to have unwittingly enlisted in this game to accumulate money and wealth over the course of our lives.

 

To this, my friend responded by saying something I found to be bold and beautiful.  She said,“Well, that is not the game I am playing. I am playing the game called ‘Be more kind.'”

 

She then shared with me that in looking at her life, she knew she was not always as kind as she could be and she was striving to be more kind to those around her.  She then followed this amazing statement with one equally as fantastic, saying, “I chose not to play the money game.  I could have played it.  I could have chosen to be a stockbroker when I got out of school in the go-go 1980’s when the focus in this country shifted to money, but I was too lazy and had no interest in that area.”

 

Wow!

 

Such a powerful and honest declaration required two important elements, both of which are key for anyone to possess happiness in life –

 

1. Awareness (of who she is and what she wants).
2. Personal responsibility (acknowledgment AND ownership of the choices she made in her life).

 

All of which leads to the BIG question YOU must answer in order to find that same happiness and fulfillment –

 

What game are you playing in your life?

 

If you can’t answer that question, then you will always chase the Ghost of Contentment . . . one you will surely never catch.

 

The only games worth playing are the ones that bring you happiness.
 

– R. Largman

 

2014 just started.   Do you know what game you are playing this year?

 

It may be the money game for you. If so, go for it. But it may not. Maybe you want to play the kindness game. Or the creativity game. Or the parenthood game. Or the peace of mind game. Or the grow my business game. Or the . . .

 

Don’t get caught up in someone else’s game if it is not the one you wish to play. If you want to play a different game, be sure to know and understand what YOUR game is. Choose it powerfully, commit to it, and play it FULL OUT!!

 

Doing so will ensure that happiness is just around the corner for you.

 
 

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Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life

If I asked you to find the United States on the map below, you would most likely be able to do that. Similarly, if I asked you to find India, you would succeed as well. We all grew up staring at this map on the wall while our teacher stood in front of the classroom imparting knowledge. The map is part of our ingrained belief about how the world looks.

 

 
But what if I told you it was all wrong? What if I told you that the world actually looks like this?
 

 

Surprising, right? In fact, I bet some of you would say that this second map is just plain wrong. And perhaps, like myself, even after seeing this map and reading this newsletter, you will still think and relate to the world according to the first map. It’s as if the first map is part of our DNA.

 

We all grew up thinking Greenland is as large as Africa, when in fact Africa is 14 times larger. We think Europe and South America are roughly the same size, when in fact South America is 60% larger. We think Alaska is much larger than Mexico, when in fact Mexico is larger by 100,000 square miles.

 
Why is this important? Because it is a beautiful demonstration of the power of beliefs.
 

We interact with the world based on our beliefs – what we think and believe about ourselves, what we think and believe about others, what we think and believe about our life. These beliefs live as truths for us, form who we are, and guide our actions.

 
But as you can see, they are not always true. They are just true for us.
 

If you are stuck or unhappy with something in your life or business, take a moment to consider the beliefs that lie underneath that unhappiness. Chances are, those beliefs are forming your thinking and are the reason for being stuck or unhappy. Thus, to change your situation in life, you must change your beliefs.

 

If you don’t change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. Is that good news?

– W. Somerset Maugham

 

The first step to changing a belief is to become aware of it. If you don’t know what your beliefs are, then chances are they are running you like a robot. You have no choice in life and simply carry on like a machine. But once you can see your beliefs, you can be at choice about them. You can decide which ones serve you and which ones do not. And in that moment, your life becomes yours to change.

 

To further understand the social impacts this particular perspective of the world might have, watch the fun clip below of one of my favorite TV shows, The West Wing.  As a writer, I always admired the dialogue of this Emmy winning show.

 

 
 

World map courtesy of picturespider.com

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Are You Still Waiting for Your Miracle?

I remember the day I realized that miracles were not the Moses-parting-the-Red-Sea, Jesus-walking-on-water biblical type, but rather much smaller events. More like my friend Cathy walking into my office right as I thought of her and wanted to speak with her. At first I thought it odd or coincidental, but then I decided to consider that perhaps it was a miracle. Realists and optimists will argue over what it was until they are blue in the face, but technically, it doesn’t matter what you call it.

What matters is your awareness of the event and the acknowledgement of its occurrence, for once you are aware of these little miracles, you will start to see them everywhere and every day. Hundreds of them, if you are really aware.

And that is what is important; to be aware and awake so that you see them every day.

I find that many people wait for that biblical-sized miracle before they admit to these mysterious occurances and begin living their life as if they could manifest anything they desire. They wait, and they wait, and they wait. It is easy to see that they are waiting for that unmistakable sign to hit them over the head. Fireworks. Bells. A sunbeam parting the sky and shining upon them. A letter in their mailbox from God. Mostly, these people just spend their whole lives waiting. Waiting for that moment to have their life be directed.

In the meantime, however, while they are so busy waiting and looking for that one big sign, they miss all the little ones shouting at them each and every day. And the amazing thing about these little ones is that they serve as a compass guiding us in our everyday life, pointing us in a direction we wish to go. And when put together and followed, all these little miracles form a path known as “being in flow.” Suddenly life becomes not only effortless, but also perfectly aligned with the desires and joys we hold in our heart.

As Albert Einstein once said, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

I’ve noticed that those who see nothing as a miracle often struggle against life, worrying and trying to control all the outcomes. Those who see everything as a miracle, tend to experience more joy and freedom and constantly bathe in that magical state known as “being in flow.” From all I have witnessed in life, the latter is a much more fun and fulfilling way to live life than the former.

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