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Posts Tagged ‘Coaching’

I’m going to take a wild guess that physics was not your favorite class in high school or college. However, if you want to shift your life or business into high gear, then you absolutely, positively must understand at least one important Law of Physics.

 
momentum 5a
 

 

There are two important concepts found in this law that affect your life and business. If you are unaware of them, they are most likely what hold you back from success.

 

#1 – Inertia

Inertia is the word most often used to describe the first part of this law – an object at rest tends to stay at rest. Do you feel stuck? Are you or your business going nowhere? If so, you are experiencing inertia and must shake yourself from the inaction.

To break free of inertia and begin creating momentum in your life follow these 3 simple steps.

  1. Define what you want.
  2. Ask for it.
  3. Get into action!

 

#2 – Momentum

Momentum applies to the second part of the law – an object in motion tends to stay in motion. Momentum is like a superpower when you possess it. And once you have it, you seem unstoppable and achieve goals and milestones rather effortlessly.

 

It is important to note that momentum is created the INSTANT you break free from inertia, and it will continue as long as you steer clear of friction in your life. Equally important is realizing that the hardest part of creating momentum is taking that first step or action.

 

If you are challenged by creating momentum in some area of your life or business, consider this simple process.

  1. Take a small step.
  2. Don’t worry about the ultimate goal, just worry about the next step.
  3. Repeat Step 1 two more times.

If you can master this one Law of Physics, you will undoubtedly find your future filled with more success and satisfaction.

 

Sometimes being pushed to the wall gives you the momentum necessary to get over it!

– Peter de Jager

 

It’s not always easy to break free of inertia and create momentum. That is the beauty of working with a coach. They help you get unstuck and move you toward your goals.

 

Often, when my clients are stuck, I mean really stuck, I advise them to take action. Any action . . . even if it isn’t aligned with their goal. Sometimes it doesn’t matter what they do as long as they do something and break the inertia. Once that is done, we can correct course, but it is impossible to correct the course of a ship that is dead in the water.

 

To see the true brilliance of Sir Isaac Newton, the father of physics, check out the video below and see the discovery that has helped millions of children across the globe achieve their class-trip dreams.
 

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If you are happy in your job, or with what you do for a living, then this month’s entry isn’t for you. In fact, you can stop reading now.

 

Unfortunately, that won’t be many of you.

 

A 2011 Gallup survey showed that 71% of workers are “not engaged” or are “actively disengaged” from their work. This surprising statistic was confirmed by a 2012 survey by HR company Jobvite, who found that 75% of working-age Americans are “job seekers” — they’re either “actively seeking” a new job or “open to” a new job.

 

That’s a whole lot of unhappy people.

 

Whether you are an employee or an employer, the implications of this are tremendous. If you are an employee, you are dedicating roughly 40%-50% of your day to a job that leaves you feeling unsatisfied. If you are an employer, you are working with a team that I would hardly call enthusiastic or committed. According to Gallup, people who are “emotionally disconnected from their workplaces are less likely to be productive” and are more likely to leave.

 
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That’s a whole lot of wasted talent.

 

Most of these unsatisfied people feel this way because they do not feel challenged, appreciated or they don’t feel as if they are a part of something bigger and more meaningful. Essentially, they feel like they are little more than a cog in a wheel.

 

So what can you do in 2013 to change your situation and begin experiencing a more engaged work life or team? Here are 3 quick steps to begin the transformation.

 

If you are an employer/business owner –

1. Take the temperature of your employees to find out how satisfied they are and what are their areas of discontentment, if any. If you don’t have an understanding of the current condition, then you can’t make appropriate changes. And be sure to look for areas of discontentment. Those are the areas that hold the most potential for positive change if addressed.
2. Assess the level of appreciation you show for your team. Do you do it regularly? Do you do it publicly? Do you acknowledge and recognize both big and small acts that exemplify the behavior, culture and performance you wish to have at your company?
3. Challenge yourself and your team. Status quo equals stale and boring. Get creative! Set a big goal and go for it! Take measured risks! Create adventure! Engaging yourself and your team in this manner keeps things exciting, fresh and moving forward.

 

If you are an employee –

1. Take ownership of your current situation and your future. All too often the finger is pointed at management as the problem. If you are unsatisfied or don’t like the way something is going and have not said anything, then there is only yourself to blame. Do not take on the role of the victim and then blame everybody else for your unhappiness.
2. Ask yourself if you are unhappy with the work you are doing or with the company/management. If it is the latter, it may be time to consider moving to another company. There is most likely something about the company that is not aligned with your core values and beliefs. If it is the former, it might be time to reconsider your line of work and the choices that got you there. There is something about what you do for a living that is not fulfilling.
3. Take the smallest of actions to break the inertia and get your momentum moving in a direction you desire. Don’t wait thinking or hoping things will get better next month or next year. If you have been unsatisfied for a while, then you need to take action. Do not let inertia keep you in your unhappiness. That is a guaranteed path to future unhappiness. Take action.

 

Choose a job you love, and you will never work another day in your life.

– Confucius

 

We spend way too much of our time at work to not enjoy what we do – whether that is because of the work you are doing, the people you are doing it with or the culture and practices that exist at the company. The great news is that it is within your power, whether you are an employee or employer – to change all of that. Do not resign yourself to a life of suffering at work, for life is not intended to be miserable.

 
Here is some great inspiration for doing what you love!

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Here in America we are obsessed with winning. Obsessed with stories about persevering against all odds in order to finally, after great struggle, win the day. These stories are thrilling and inspiring, but they overlook the less glamorous, very un-Hollywood-like path to happiness and satisfaction – quitting to win.
 

A recent Psychology Today magazine published an article about three well-known entrepreneurs and businessmen who quit to win – Steve Jobs, Howard Schultz (Starbucks) and Henry Ford. They all quit and left behind some aspect of their life in order to focus on another more passionate avenue that called to them. The article went on to point out that when faced with “complexity and uncertainty, most people lack the mental acuity to kill pet projects or close doors on distracting opportunities.” Yet, it is this exact quality that often opens the door to greater success for people.

 

Sometimes you have to quit to win in your life.

 

It could be that you are in a bad job, a bad relationship or a bad financial situation. Whatever it is you are suffering through, the true challenge is mustering the courage to quit that path for something you think, feel or believe is more favorable.

 

Often, we feel as if we need to persevere and endure the hardships of life, as if that pain and suffering will be what earns us the reward we seek. But this suffering more likely just gives us great dissatisfaction and stress, which actually begs a much simpler question:

 

Do you want to be a hero, or do you want to be happy?

 

Personally, I like to follow The Rule of Water: When confronted with obstacles in life, water gracefully chooses the path of least resistance and flows around the obstacle, leaving the fight and struggle behind.

 

Some would say this is taking the easy way out. But to those who see the water reach its final destination, they see it as victory.

 

Quitting is letting go of things (or people) that are sucking the life out of you so you can do more things that will bring you strength.

– Osayi Osar-Emokpae, Impossible Is Stupid

 

Too many of us wear struggle and suffering as a badge of honor. It is as if that suffering makes the end result more rewarding. In elementary school, we all learned that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Every time we engage in suffering of some kind, consider it a deviation from that straight line and a detour from the end result you truly wish to achieve in your life.

 
Today, why not take a moment to reach into your heart and find the courage to quit that one thing that is sucking the life from you. There is no doubt that in doing so, tomorrow’s sunrise will seem much brighter!

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It’s no secret that conditions change quickly. Whether they are conditions in your life or business, what is true one moment may not be true the next.

 

I often walk through the woods near my home on a path that passes several streams. Until a few days ago, everything seemed fairly normal with these streams. Then, as if it happened overnight, the water levels dropped noticeably. One particular stream stopped flowing. It may just be my awareness this year, but I don’t recall seeing this occur in the previous 2 years I walked this path.

 

Then, just as suddenly, that one stream that stopped flowing went from a small pond, to a small puddle. Overnight. As I stopped and took advantage of this unusual opportunity to explore the rarely exposed stream bed, I noticed a great deal of movement in the puddle. It was filled with several small fish that did not swim to safety when they had the chance before the stream began to dry up. Now, they were stuck and left vulnerable in an ever-shrinking mud hole, which by my guess, gave them only 1 or 2 days left to live, especially if rains did not come soon.

 

Watching them frantically swim in the little puddle of muddy water, coming to the surface every now and then to gulp some air, it was hard not to reflect on the situations in my life where I perhaps did not act as quickly as I should have, and my indecision left me in a very vulnerable position with very few, if any, options.

 

Watching this lesson in life unfold before my eyes reminded me of one of my favorite quotes I heard at a business seminar, “Hesitation is the leading cause of road kill.”

 

The next day when I walked past this puddle, the water, and the fish, were gone. All that was left in its place was a drying stream bed and tracks from a smart raccoon who easily feasted on the fish that were left so vulnerable.

 

Where in your life have you, or are you, hesitating when you know you should take action? Are you doubting your instinct and not trusting yourself to make a certain move? The Universe rewards action; even more so if it is immediate action. Don’t delay and get caught in the mud hole. Chances are, that will only lead to you becoming someone else’s meal.

 

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.

– W. M. Lewis

 

Stop waiting for your life to begin, or for conditions to be just perfect before you do something you know you need to do or have always wanted to do. Take action now. Your life will feel uniquely rewarded and enriched by doing so.

 

Or, like the wise men in this video, and in corporations across the globe . . . you could just have a meeting.

 
 

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I wish I could say that as a coach I always set goals, develop a plan, work the plan and achieve the success I desire. The truth is that is not the case. As the age-old saying goes, the cobbler’s kids have no shoes. I guess I could beat myself up about it, but I imagine this fact only makes me more human and has me better understand the challenges my clients face.


However, during the past 14 years that I have been coaching, I have found something that is more frustrating, more crushing, more defeating than not successfully accomplishing a goal . . . . . . . living your life in purgatory.


In my work, I consider purgatory a state of being where there is no commitment. It is a place where the client cannot commit to either A or B, and as a result, they just float somewhere in the middle, making little or no progress in their life. There is no doubt that this state of being is the most frustrating state that exists. It is more frustrating than committing to a certain path and finding it is the wrong direction or choosing a path and failing to achieve the desired goal. At least in the latter two, a choice was made and something was learned.


A life spent in purgatory gets stale very quickly, which is why I often encourage clients who are stuck there to make a decision – ANY decision – and not worry about whether it is right or wrong. When stuck in purgatory, the first and most important step is to break free of inertia. Once that is done and momentum exists, then you can adjust the course.


If you are stuck in purgatory in any area of your life, don’t let the fear of making a wrong decision keep you there. The important action is to take a step. Any step. And then adjust your course from there. The freedom you will feel in the movement will be invigorating!


Don’t be afraid to backtrack in life. It gives you the opportunity to see what you missed while you had your back to the world.

                                                               – Rich Largman


We were not meant to live in purgatory. Those moments in life are simply tests to help us determine what we truly desire in our lives. The trick to getting out of purgatory and any suffering we may experience is to make a choice. And do not let the fear of making a choice stop you. A “wrong” choice gets you closer to what you desire than no choice at all.



And to help inspire you, here is a clip of one of the coolest choices ever made in movies.

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I wish I could say that what I do in my coaching is rocket science. That the phenomenal results my clients produce is a function of some incredibly sophisticated scientific formula I have created . . . but it’s not.

 

It’s actually quite the opposite. My clients build their success on the foundation of three simple concepts I bring to my coaching.

  1. I believe we are capable of anything we set our hearts, mind and energy to . . . and over the past 12+ years my clients have proved me right over and over again.
  2. If there is a formula, it looks something like this: awareness > consciousness > choice > responsibility. It is more of a progression than formula, but when my clients travel along this path they begin to manifest all they desire in life.
  3. Don’t complicate things. The focus may be on a goal in the future, but the action is simply the next step.

That’s it. Clearly, there is no rocket science there.

In fact, I don’t believe anything in this world is rocket science. . . except maybe for rocket science. I believe life is simple. Yet, we humans like to make our lives much more complicated than it is. It’s a bit amusing to witness the struggle we create around things that are actually much simpler.

 

I believe we make life challenging and create drama and struggle in our lives in order to give our lives meaning. Almost as if we are writing a story about ourselves and in order to make it more interesting and heroic, we create challenges we must struggle against and overcome.

 
Sure, I guess it makes for a great story . . . but it kinda sucks for your life.

 

Life is simpler than that.

 

Take a look at your life and see where you create rocket science, when only simple addition or subtraction is necessary. You’ll be shocked at how simplifying your formula, and removing the drama and struggle, will reveal the ease and joy you truly seek in life.

 

You are one breath at a time
– Maharishi

 

The formula for life could be boiled down to this simple and beautiful quote. There is tremendous power and clarity that is found in simplicity, yet many of us complicate our lives with the unwanted drama of a bad reality TV show. Even if you were getting paid millions of dollars per episode, the pain and hardship of the drama is not worth it.

 

Here are three quick ways to eliminate drama and simplify your life.

  • Eliminate/limit those in your life who feast on, and revel in, drama.
  • Become a drama-free zone. When people bring their drama into your life, feel free to listen, but don’t own or participate in it.
  • Address/solve the problem, not the drama we create around it.

 
Here’s a little fun with rocket science!
 

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A few years back some studies were conducted on how we work.  The studies found that every 11 minutes we are interrupted by a phone call, colleague, text message, instant message, email or any of the other numerous possible interruptions.  This is probably not news as you likely experience this everyday, whether you are a busy executive or a busy mom.

 

The challenge, however, is that the studies also found that it took the brain at least 11 minutes to refocus on the task at hand.  I think we can all see the problem here.  Just as we are about to refocus, we are interrupted again.  The concept of focused thought and attention has disappeared in our technology-driven society.

 

In other studies the fallacy of multi-tasking was further debunked.  Humans, in fact, cannot focus on many tasks at once.  Research shows that we can effectively focus on only 2 tasks.  After that our effectiveness is greatly diminished and focus disappears.  

 

This new “focus” was called continuous partial attention where we engage in switchtasking; the act of rapidly going back and forth from one task to another in microbursts of attention.

 

Most people wear their assumed ability to multi-task as a badge of honor and companies award jobs like prizes to those who can successfully demonstrate this lack of focus best.  The more things one can do at the same time, the better an employee they must be.

 

Yet, the research demonstrates that when someone multi-tasks work actually takes longer and the quality is inferior.  A 2005 study by Hewlett-Packard found that workers who were continually distracted by e-mail and phone calls showed an effective drop in IQ equal to twice that of those using marijuana.

 

In our world today, we seem to have confused being busy with being productive.  Multi-tasking may allow you to get a lot of things done, but the real question is, “Are you doing them well?”

 

(To see a humorous example of the inability to multi-task that recently took the country by storm, click the video below.)

 

 

If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.

                                                 – Russian Proverb

 

 

5 Tips to Restore Your Focus, Sanity and Quality of Work

  1. Turn Off Notifications (Email, Facebook, Twitter, Text) – Today’s technology and social media serve as distracters and fragment our focus and deepening of thought.  Turning off the bells and whistles of our technology will prevent the Pavlovian response to them.
  2. Schedule your day – Setting aside designated time to do specific tasks increases your focus and commitment to the completion of that task.
  3. Just Say “No” – Not every new technology is a must have.  Critically consider what it offers and ask yourself, “How does this new technology best serve me and do I really need it?”
  4. Designate Quiet Hours – Establish a time in your day where you actually turn off all electronic devices so that you may focus on an important task that requires your thought and creativity.
  5. Purge – Review your current technology, social media and email newsletters and ask yourself if they benefit you.  If not, consider purging it to create space for more important tasks.

 

 

(Photo credit: Margo Conner)

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