Posts Tagged ‘frustration’

When I work with clients, at some point during our work together I will ask them what their goals are or what they believe gets in the way of them accomplishing their goals. It is not unusual for their first response to be, “I don’t know.”
These are the three most disempowering words in the English language!
When my clients respond with these words, without fail, I will challenge them and suggest that they actually do know and the only reason they are saying they don’t is so that they don’t have to do anything.   Their response allows them to hang out in a nebulous cloud of uncertainty.
Lost and Confused SignpostBut the truth is, “I don’t know” is nothing more than a smokescreen that allows people to stay stuck and not move forward. It gives them an excuse to pretend they don’t know what to do or what they truly want. It is a way of keeping them safe in their comfort zone.
I believe the reason we do this is because in reality, we humans are amazing beings! Deep down we actually know that we are capable of accomplishing whatever we set our minds to. And I think we are afraid of that. Once we declare what we want, we almost always achieve it! I have seen this proven over and over again for the past 15 years by my clients.
The trick, of course, is knowing what we want. Once we identify what we want and declare our goals, we begin to move toward them and achieve success. It’s just who we are and how we are built. And it is AWESOME!!
So stop pretending that you don’t know what you want in your life or business. If you don’t know, or you pretend not to know, that opens the door for one of 2 things to happen, neither of which you will be happy with.

  1. You will stay stuck and your frustration will grow.
  2. Someone else will define for you what you want.

Thankfully, as always, the solution here is not rocket science. Simply take some time to sit by yourself, quiet the mind, be honest with yourself, turn off any “voice in your head” that might be influencing you – other than your own – and answer these questions:


  • What do you REALLY want?
  • What will make you happy/smile?
  • If you knew you or your team could not fail, what would you do?


Believe it or not, it is that simple.
If you don’t run your life, someone else will.



Pretending you don’t know what you want, or not taking the time to find out, is a surefire recipe for frustration in your life. There are enough obstacles in life that will inhibit you from having what you desire. No need for you to be one of those obstacles.
The good news is that if you find yourself to be an obstacle, it is the one you have the greatest control over removing from your path to success.
(Stay tuned! Next month I will share the 3 Most Powerful Words in the English language!)

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Most people don’t know, or truly understand, the most important holiday in February. I am sure the lovers among us will proclaim that it’s Valentine’s Day. And the patriots among us would surely put forth Presidents’ Day as the most important holiday. But if you are truly seeking happiness in your life, both of these suggestions would be wrong.


The most important holiday in February is Groundhog Day.


Groundhog-Day 2Groundhog Day? Really? Yes, indeed.


If you have seen the movie Groundhog Day starring Bill Murray, you might know where this is going. If you haven’t seen it, then you might want to watch it this weekend and enjoy a fun comedy with an important message.


In the movie, the main character lives the same day over and over again, living a life filled with skepticism while continually making the same mistakes until he gets it right. Since the movie came out 20 years ago, the term Groundhog Day has taken on the meaning of living the same mistake over and over again.


Many people consider a pattern like this to be a message of some sort and an opportunity to learn a life lesson. In his book Conversations with God, Neale Donald Walsch wrote, “You will get the message as many times as you need it in as many different forms.” In my coaching, I add one little, but very powerful phrase – “However, each time you don’t get the message, the Universe turns up the volume.”


The question you must ask yourself then is, “How loud must that volume be before you get the message, stop making the same mistake, and make the necessary change(s) in your life?”


Groundhog Day is a great opportunity to reflect on your life and notice where you are continually making the same mistakes or find yourself being the most skeptical? Is there anything you can do differently to get yourself out of that maddening pattern? Is there any action you can take to break the infinite loop and start living a life you prefer?


Don’t wait until the volume gets so loud that you go deaf! Why not give Groundhog Day its due and finally make the changes you need to make in order to live a happier, more fulfilling life?


If you keep making the same mistake; what lesson have you learned? You can’t get through the book of life if you’re always stuck on the same page.

– Unknown


Life is never fun when we are living with the frustration that accompanies continually making the same mistakes over and over. Thankfully, the solution to such frustration can be as simple as:


first generate an awareness of the pattern;
second, understand the costs of that pattern to your vitality;
third, create some new possibilities;
• and finally, make a conscious choice to live differently from that moment forward.


Believe it or not, it can be that simple.


If you want a little laugh, click on the Groundhog Day trailer below!

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